one step forward, two steps back

heels click off linoleum and i have a destination -
going somewhere, trying to get to someplace.

you're two feet in front of me, the back of your neck
pale and perfect, teasing and taunting me.

you take one step - i take two - i make no progress.

the overhead lights are harsh, do you no justice,
but i think you're beautiful.

there's a smudge on your shoulder, dark brown,
imprint of my foundation, my blush, my mask.

it's the closest to claiming you as mine that i will ever get - i could call that progress.

i still feel warm from when you hugged me from behind in
front of my friends, embarrassed by the look on my face after.

i still feel tingles from when we held each other close and
spun in a circle and your thigh nudged its way between my legs.

i breathed you in - you breathed me out - i made no progress.

my heart's in my eyes when i watch you because i know
you won't see it there but i'm scared.

i'm scared because my heart isn't just in my eyes, it's in my hands
and my feet and my lips and my soul.

you stole my heart and in doing so took all of me.

but you don't know it, don't want it, don't see me that way.
i fall harder - you feel nothing - i've made no progress.